I think we measure ourselves too much.
In our mind, we always aim too high.
I think it’s a bad thing, if that’s the reason stopping you for doing something.
I want to be able to do and learn many things in my life. I’ve always wanted to do that.
But in the past, I never thought of pursuing them.
I thought I’d never be good enough. I thought I could never become great at these things that I want to try.
So, why even bother to?
This kind of thinking stuck with me for a really long time, for almost my entire life.
I know a lot of people have desires to try new things in life, but they rarely go for them.
People are afraid of investing time and money into something that they might fail at. That’s a legitimate fear. The feeling of disappointment is usually connected to failure.
Reality is we measure ourselves not to what we think is good, but to what other people think is good. And by good, I mean excellent, like “you have a natural gift” type of excellent.
Most of us are wired this way ever since we were a child. Our parents, teachers and coaches were the ones who set the bar for us. If you failed, you never heard the end of it.
And that stuck with us for a really long time.
Sure, thinking this way is not all bad, because it enables us to push ourselves further, to try our best in life.
It’s all or nothing. But the side effect of thinking this way, make most people choose the nothing rather than the let down.
I remember the talk that I had with my friend about getting new hobbies. We’re talking about different things that we’d love to learn, or generally curious about.
And he said something that reshaped my thinking,
“If I can, I want to learn about everything. Try something new every month. Think how cool it is that you’ll know a little bit about everything. You can just take the first class and see how you’d grow into it, and if it doesn’t keep your interest then move on to the next. But still, you’ve learned something. Imagine, how many stuff you’d know?”
I loved the fact that, he never once mentioned about how good he wanted to become and his expectations, but the experience he’d gain from trying something new. He also understood that it’s about discovering something you didn’t know before that you’d enjoy doing by expanding yourself.
If I don’t do something, because of the fear of I can’t be good at it, isn’t that kind of a failure on its own?
How much I get out of it and what I can accomplish with it should be what matter the most.
I believe we are born with natural gifts in us, I think we all have more than one gift. It just the matter of how devoted we are to these things.
Here’s a challenge for you, try this with something that you already love to do. Now, think of yourself doing the thing that you love and try to suck at it.
That’s right, try really hard to do a lousy job at the thing you enjoy more than anything in this world and see how it goes.
I bet you can’t do it, can you? It’s like asking you to hate your favorite food while you’re chewing it in your mouth. It’s not about can you be bad at it, it’s about how much you don’t want to.
When you’ve found something that is really yours, it doesn’t matter how bad you are at the beginning. If you know you can own it, there’s no way you going to let yourself be bad at it. It becomes who you are.
I think we shouldn’t be afraid of failures – easier said than done, I know. We should be afraid of all the things that we don’t get to fail at. Without those, how will we ever know what makes us happy?
I don’t think I’m the best at anything in my life right now. But there are many things that I have yet to try, so my story is still being written.