I had a few topics in mind that I wanted to write for V-day. But I didn’t feel inspire enough to pour down the words.
I took a break from writing and watched some movies. They were all about gay love.
The movies were A Single Man, Weekend and Brokeback Mountain.
All three movies were sad.
Is it just me, or most gay movies have this bizarre mood to them that the film makers are trying so hard to make it feel artistic?
But then I asked myself, does this feeling come from seeing two men in love and lust for one another, something that in our society is still treated as taboo? Or is this the work of the director – is it them or is it us?
I think it’s both. But our brain has a big part of making it feel weird because it’s unfamiliar to us.
It’s what we’re used to consider out of the norm.
I always thought when a woman falls in love with a man, it’s the most vulnerable thing that she can do. But seeing a man surrendering to his love for another man is an eye opener.
I’m not used to see a man feeling so vulnerable, and emotional toward another man.
Something that was almost painful to watch.
You see, we’re still living in a time that people say
Love – Gay love
Marriage – Gay marriage
The world says “We don’t want to be a part of that.”
But aren’t we also saying that gay love shouldn’t be considered real love?
That must hurts.
A man should not be weak, or shows his weaknesses.
A man should not be emotional, or shows his emotions.
A man should be the provider, the leader – the stronger.
To be in love is to put yourself in the most vulnerable state. It’s like take me as I am now as my walls come down.
I cannot imagine to fall in love with anyone without a sense of vulnerability.
You can’t fully love someone, if you’re not ready to take the pain of what could or could not come from it.
But to a gay man, it’s a much greater risk. To him is “I’m ready to get judged and possibly get killed, but I don’t want to hide anymore, and you’re the one, who makes me feel this way.”
It’s powerful. It’s like Rome & Juliet.
Jonathan & Dwayne | A story about love. from Celia Hilton on Vimeo.